


Fear & Loathing

by Punish_Me_Frank_Castle



Series: Fear and Loathing [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-04-24 11:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle/pseuds/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle
Summary: Mercy used to be an assassin. Nothing mattered to her than the kill. Now she's found herself freed from her captors and recruited by SHIELD as a team member on the Avengers. Steve reminds her of her past, the past she's trying to move on from. How can she move on when she's drawn to the one person that is a constant reminder of everything?





	1. Chapter 1

It had been about a month since Mercy had moved into Avengers tower. She was the newest member of the Avengers, having been recruited by former members of a strike team she was a part of a long time ago. Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton were and still are close friends and she trusted them explicitly. She hasn't yet warmed up completely to all of the other Avengers.

Mercy liked the Captain well enough, but she still had a guard up. She couldn’t decide if she could trust him fully without him reporting back to Fury. She didn’t need an informant as an ally. 

She was on good terms with the two scientists, Bruce and Tony.  They made her laugh, how they bicker back and forth to each other like an old married couple. She would never admit this, but she secretly liked Stark’s perverse sense of flirting. He knew she was way out of his league, but it never stopped him from saying something outlandish. It amused her.

She had yet to meet Thor, he hadn’t returned from Asgard yet but she had heard of what he had done for the planet. She respected him, and believed that she would grow to trust him.

“Hey Mercy!”

She heard the Captain call her name. The muscles in her back tensed as she turned around. She saw him with an African American guy. Ex-military she deduced. On American soil for about two years now. Right handed. She observed all his weak spots, calculated the many ways she could kill him without Steve being able to interfere.

Not that she planned on killing the guy, but you never know. It was like Tony once told her, ‘You’re like a boy scout Mercy. Always prepared’. Mercy didn’t like that her brain worked that way, like a calculated killing machine, but it had become a necessity. It was something that had been ingrained into her since she could remember.

“Mercy, I’d like to introduce you to Sam Wilson.” the Captain said, gesturing his hand to the man before me.

Sam’s hand reached out to hers, as if to give her a handshake. Mercy followed the movement with her eyes, letting his arm hang there a moment before extending her own.

“Nice to meet you.” she replied, gripping his hand hard, harder than necessary.

She watched the man’s face as she shook his hand. No noticeable change, he didn’t seemed phased by the discomfort. It made her respect him a little more for that.

“Nice to meet you Mercy. Kind of an ironic name for an assassin don’t you think?”

She stiffened and gritted her teeth. For a second she was brought back to the organization. The place where they had broken her, rebuilt her, and turned her into what she now was. She let out the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“Yeah. Seems like my—” she paused, not knowing what to call him, finally finding a decent word she continued, “My employer seemed to like irony.” Her tone was flat, her eyes staring through Sam like he wasn’t there, seeing but not.

Steve cleared his throat. Mercy looked over at him. He seemed to be uncomfortable. His core temperature had risen about four degrees and his shoulders were tight. She shook her head, wishing her brain would shut up.

“Calm down Captain. You’re friend hasn’t offended me.” She glanced back to Sam and nodded her head to him. “Well, I’ll see you around.”

She turned and walked towards the stairs. As she opened the door she yelled back to the two men, “I look forward to working with you Falcon.” she laughed as I heard Sam curse under his breath in surprise that she knew his alias. Nothing like freaking out the newbie.

* * *

She had destroyed two punching bags by the time Nat found her. She always went to the gym when she was stressed, punching things had always made her feel better, even before everything that had happened to her. Sam’s comment had brought up a lot of memories that she didn’t feel like reliving. 

 She knew Nat had given her time before she came to talk. Nat always knew where she was when Mercy was angry but Nat knew when to keep her distance. Mercy liked that about her. She knew when to push and when not to. Nat sat down on the mat and watched her punch for a while. She stopped after a couple minutes and began to unwrap her hands.

“So I heard you met Sam.” she spoke with a hint of amusement.

“Yeah, I did.” she replied, nursing a bottle of water.

“I also heard he made an ass of himself, which he feels awful about by the way.”

Mercy sat in front of Nat. Legs crossed, back straight, a simple position to get out of quickly if need be. She ignored her brain which was telling her that her jugular was vulnerable at the angle the red head's neck was tilted.  

“Mercy, I know it’s hard for you to be around people. I know how it is. You’re antsy all the time, always evaluating the threat. But you gotta understand that there isn’t one. Not with these guys. You can trust them. Even Steve.”

She studied the look in the redhead’s eyes. No deceit detected, actions and words seemed genuine. Nat had made sure to emphasize the Captain’s name. She singled him out. Mercy wasn’t surprised though, she knew Nat would have picked up on the fact Mercy treated him differently.

“I know Nat. I’m just having trouble turning it off. I don’t know what it is. Every one of my instincts are telling me to run or to fight, to get out of here. And I know that this time they’re wrong, but I don’t know how to turn them off. I want to turn it off.”

Nat nodded. She understood where Mercy was coming from. She rose from her spot on the mat and held out her hand. Mercy took it and Nat helped her to her feet. Although she didn’t need the help, she allowed it to happen, she liked the contact. There were very few people she could touch without her brain automatically calculating the many ways she could snap their bones in half. Nat was one of those people. 

“Come on, lets spar a bit. You’re left hook is getting a little weak.”

Mercy laughed at that, knowing Nat was just trying to goad her into a fight. 

“Bullshit Widow, take you’re best shot.”

* * *

Steve was sitting in the common room with Clint, trying to muster up the courage to ask him what he’d been dying to for the last twenty minutes. He was really concerned about Mercy, especially how she acted around him. She was very closed off, and for the life of him, Steve could’t figure out why. She seemed extremely close with Clint and Natasha but that was to be expected.

What threw Steve for a loop was the fact that she was spending a lot of her time with Tony and Bruce. Not that he wasn’t happy, but he had just assumed that she would warm up to everyone all at the same time, but that wasn’t the case. She still hadn’t warmed up to Steve at all and it worried him. Maybe he had offended her in someway? He had no idea what the problem was. 

“Dude just spit it out. I’m getting really freaked out at you staring a hole through my head.” Clint said exasperatedly.

“Why doesn’t she like me?” he asked in a saddened tone.

“Who doesn’t like you?” Clint replied confused

“Mercy. She doesn’t like me. She’s been here a couple months, and she hasn’t warmed up to me a bit.”

“Oh.” Clint paused, putting down the bow he was cleaning. “Look Cap, she just has trouble trusting people. It will take her a while, but she’ll come around.

“She never calls me by my name Barton. It’s always Captain. Never Steve, Cap, Steven. Hell I’d take Mr. Rogers or one of Tony’s stupid nicknames at this point.” Steve leaned back into the couch cushions, deflated.

“Now I’m just speculating here, but I think she does that as a reminder for her, not as a slight to you.”

“What?”

“Why she calls you Captain. I think it’s a reminder for her. One thing you gotta know about Mercy, she doesn’t like Armies or anything really military related. You’re very military related.” Clint held up a hand to Steve so he wouldn’t interrupt. “What I’m telling you right now is for your ears only. Top secret. If she knew what I was about to tell you, she’d kill me.”

Steve’s eyes widened.

Clint frowned. “Not really Cap, she wouldn’t really kill me. She’d just be pissed. I’m telling you so you’ll understand, so you won’t hold it against her. Got it?”

Steve shook his head in agreement.

“Mercy was trained in a place sort of like Red Room, but it was worse, way worse. The people taken there weren’t raised from childhood like Nat was. They were kidnapped, experimented on, completely broken. Torn apart bit by bit, beaten until submissive. Then raised back up into killing machines.”

Steve leaned forward in his seat, eager for Clint to continue.

“These guys worked for Mossad, real bad group. Mercy had wanted to be in the army since she was little, at least that’s what she told me. She wanted to serve her country, she was really passionate about it. But her country betrayed her, that’s how she describes it, and I don’t really think she’s wrong. They made her into a weapon, something less than human. Of course the agency denies this ever happened, but who would own up to something that terrible. The point is that it’s not something she’s going to get over lightly, she’s gonna need time.”

Steve looked at his feet, contemplating everything Clint had just told him. He looked up when he heard Clint speak in a softer voice.

“She was a lot like you Steve, before it all, and I think that’s why she’s taking so long to get used to you. You’re a constant reminder of who she used to be, who she no longer is. The whole ‘Captain’ thing is a way to distance herself, from who she once was, from what you represent. ”

Steve noticed that his eyes had misted over. Tears threatened to escape his eyes. He had no idea why the story had moved him so much. Well that wasn’t true, he understood why he was so upset.

He had been that little boy, dying to serve his country, to do something good. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how painful it would have been if he had been betrayed by his country like that. How heart breaking it would be to see everything he had ever dreamt of destroyed.

He stood, saying a quick thanks to Barton as he left the room. He needed to think.

* * *

Mercy was hanging out in Stark’s lab. It was a good day so far. Her instincts were calm, not urging her to kill or run every moment. She sat in the middle of Tony’s work table, smiling as she watched the man work around her with a frown on his face.

“Mercy my dear, I really do enjoy you’re company, don’t get me wrong, but why do you have to sit in the middle of my desk? There are like twenty chairs in this entire lab.”

She laughed out loud. “You like to annoy me all the time, I just thought I would return the favor.”

“Well stahhpppp.” Tony replied, drawing out the last word.

She smiled at his antics. “Tony you sound like a whiney child. It’s pretty hysterical. It doesn’t make me want to stop though.”

That comment only made him frown more.

“I’m not a child, I’m a grown man.” Tony replied, arms crossed.

Mercy leaned forward, placing both hands on the mans shoulders.

“Grown, yes. Man, I am not quite sure.” she said with a serious look on her face.

She about burst into laughter when she saw the billionaire’s reaction. He frowned and threw his hands up turning to recruit Bruce into helping get rid of his assassin problem.

“Banner did you hear this?! She doesn’t think I’m a man. How could she think that?” Stark asked dramatically. He turned back to her gesturing to his lower half. “Want me to prove it?”

She rolled her eyes. 

“She’s messing with you Tony. Just ignore her.” Bruce replied, not even bothering to look up from his work.

“Bruce act more interested. This is serious!” Tony demanded. “My manhood has been questioned!”

She leaned back on her hands, watching Tony and Bruce bicker back and forth. She must have been lost in thought for a while, because when Bruce got my attention, he was asking about something totally different.

“Huh?” she replied, not hearing exactly what he had said.

“Why do you like us?” he asked, wringing his hands nervously as if he might be scolded for asking the question.

“Yeah Merce, why do you hang out with us? I know we’re awesome, me especially, but it does seem odd that you’d choose us.” Tony interjected.

She looked down at her feet and then back to the two men in front of her. Mercy's brain was screaming at her to not say what she was about to. But she had to, in the sake of personal progress.

“You’re not a threat and you’re pleasant people to be around. I enjoy your company. I hope to one day be friends with you guys.” Her eyes traveled from the two men, taking in their reactions.

They both answered at the same time.

“Aww, I want to be friends. Bruce lets make her part of the Science Bros!” Tony replied in a genuinely sweet voice.

“You don’t consider me a threat?” asked Bruce in an astounded voice.

Mercy looked straight at Bruce, making sure he could see how honest she was being.

“Yes Bruce, I don’t see you as a threat.” Her head was pounding, her mind screaming at her to shut up. She breathed deeply and kept going, “I trust you and know you would never willingly hurt, deceive, or manipulate me. Anything else that would happen would be against your will or out of your control. So yes, I don’t consider you a threat.”

She looked back towards Tony and gave him a small smile before focusing her eyes on the back wall. “And yes, I would like to be your friend, although I don’t think I could handle being a part of the Science Bros.”

She was shocked by the sudden pressure around her mid section and almost went on the defensive before her brain processed who it was. Tony Stark was hugging her, and Tony Stark was not a hugger, she had heard him tell multiple fans that. She patted him on the back once not knowing how to convey her appreciation. They had no idea what their acceptance meant to her.

Sensing she was uncomfortable, Tony released her waist, but it didn’t escape Mercy's notice that he had done a slight boob graze on his retreat. She raised an eyebrow at him but smirked. Honestly the man would cop a feel at anytime, without shame.

“Well Mercy, you’re now officially our friend. Our amigo, our freund, cara, amicus, mellon. Whatever language you’d prefer.”

She looked up at Bruce, and smiled when he nodded his head in agreement.

“Now Tony, I didn’t know you were a Lord of the Rings fan.” she commented, wanting to lighten the mood.

“Oh yeah, Tolkien is the best.”

Mercy laughed again. “Yeah, he is.”

* * *

Steve saw her through the glass of the lab. He saw her laughing with Bruce and Tony. He knew what he had to do. If she wasn’t going to take the first step then he would. He wanted to gain her trust and he knew something he could do to get the ball rolling. He turned and left the tower.

Twenty minutes later he was sitting in Fury’s office.

“So Captain Rogers, why are you here? I was told it was urgent.” Fury replied in a terse manner.

“I’d just like to formally inform you that from this point on I will no longer be working for Shield.”

“What are you—“ Fury was cut off as Steve continued.

“I will still be a part of the Avengers but I will no longer be working for Shield independently. It’s affecting my team and I can’t have that. So I resign.”

Fury leaned back in his chair. “Well I’m not pleased, but I can’t say I’m surprised. You need Mercy in your corner and if this is what you have to do to to make it happen, then okay.”

Steve frowned “How did I know this was about Mercy?”

Fury rolled his eye. “The team dynamic was fine three months ago when you were still working for Shield, but now it isn’t. Only thing that’s changed is that you’ve gotten a new recruit.”

Fury’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at it and rose from his chair. Steve did the same.

“Off the record, I think you’re making the right call Rogers. She’ll never follow a leader she doesn’t trust explicitly and this will definitely get her closer to trusting you.” Fury paused, “On the record though, I completely disapprove. Shield needs you and you need it. Blah blah blah.”

Steve kept himself from smiling. He had never seen this side of Fury.

“We done here?” the man asked.

“Yes, thank you sir.” Steve replied.

Fury nodded in farewell and left.

Steve sighed. He hoped this would be the last time he’d ever have to be on the helicarrier.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercy was cooking in the kitchen with Clint when he brought up the Captain.

“You know he quit Shield right?” Clint said as he stirred the Alfredo sauce.

“Yeah I heard.” Mercy replied not stopping from rolling the pasta.

“So…” Clint nudged my shoulder.

“I appreciate it. It helps me trust him more, slightly. But it also makes me feel bad.” she didn’t take my eyes off my task of rolling out pasta.

“Why does it make you feel bad?”

“Because, I’m the one that’s messed up. I’m the one that has issues. He shouldn’t have to do that just because I’m so fucked in the head that I can’t trust someone just because of who they work for.”  She hadn’t realized that she was kneading the pasta into the cutting board harder than necessary.

Clint grabbed her hands, stopping me from destroying the pasta dough.

“Sorry.” 

“You know it’s not your fault right? I know you’ve probably heard that a million times, but it really isn’t. You’re not messed up or worthless Mercy. You’re human.”

Mercy tried to take her hands back but Clint’s grip was firm.

“You’re an amazing person. You’re so strong and brave for escaping what you did. You aren’t the broken one here. You made it out, you’re not who they wanted you to be. You won, not them.”

“Yeah, well sometimes it doesn’t seem that way.” she replied in a broken voice.

“Just wait Merce.” Clint said, releasing my hands so he could wrap his arm around me. “One day it will, and it won’t ever stop.”

She nodded, hearing but not quite believing.

“Now pass me the salt, your seasoning skills suck ass.” 

* * *

“Hey Mercy, wait up!” 

Mercy stopped walking but didn’t turn to see who it was. She was working on not being so paranoid, so she ignored her brain shouting at her to turn around, to not leave her back exposed.

She was actually pretty surprised since it was Tony who draped his arm around me. It wasn’t like him to be out of the lab, and it especially wasn’t like him to be on the gym level of the tower.

“What’s up Tin Can?” she asked smirking and making a point of moving his hand that was hanging dangerously close to her chest.

Tony sighed, noticing how she had shifted his arm. The sadness only lasted a millisecond. He perked up, remembering what he had to tell her.

“Party at my penthouse at eight.”

Mercy gave him a look. Stark knew she didn’t like parties. Well that wasn’t true. Before everything, she had liked parties, but now having her in a large group of people was dangerous.

“Now I know that you’re working on some stuff and I get that. So you’re not invited to the party.”

She frowned, semi insulted. Why mention the party if she wasn’t invited? She opened her mouth to ask just that but Tony cut her off before she could make a sound.

“Calm down Boy Scout. You’re invited to something better. You’re invited to the after party. It starts at eleven.” he smiled at her wiggling his eyebrows.

“Who is gonna be there?” she asked curiously.

“Only the best and brightest. The A Team, The Squad, The Peeps, The—”

“—Thor’s gonna be there?”

“Yep, Thor is part of the Avengers.” Tony replied

“Okay smart ass, I’m in.”

Tony smiled. “Nice, okay, see you later tonight. Dress in whatever. Or don’t dress at all, that would be fine with me too.”

Mercy laughed at his pervertedness. He didn’t wait for a reply, he just sauntered off down the hall.

She was excited. It was a controlled environment with people that weren’t civilians, people that would be able to stop her if something bad happened. This would be good for her, to try to connect with her fellow Avengers. Her mind was in a better place since being with Natasha, and Clint, and dare she say it, the Science Bros. She was slowly becoming more like her old self. Maybe Clint was right, maybe she had won.

* * *

Steve sat at the bar talking to Bruce. The man was talking about some science stuff that he had no way of comprehending. His eyes scanned the room again. He still didn’t see Mercy anywhere. He was bummed. He had hoped to talk to her, maybe get her to warm up to him some more. Where was she?

“Hey Bruce, where’s Mercy?” he interrupted, not caring if he was being rude.

“Oh, she isn’t coming. Didn’t feel up to the crowd yet. Didn’t want to slip up.” Bruce replied, not seeming miffed by the question.

There must have been something in Steve’s reaction because Bruce quickly continued. “Don’t worry Steve, she’s coming to the after party. She feels better about there being less people.”

Steve nodded. At least he had the chance to talk to her later. He had ran into her at the gym once last week. He was coming, she was going. He was greeted pleasantly, nicer than usual, but she still called him Captain. Steve never thought he’d ever get annoyed by someone calling him by his rank.  

By the time eleven rolled around, Steve was kind of buzzed. Thor had some Asgardian meed that he said ‘was not meant for human consumption’. Steve took a risk in taking a couple of shots. Luckily  it payed off because now he was happily buzzed for the first time in forty years. He hadn’t noticed when Mercy had slipped in, but he was happy she was here. Whether or not she wanted to, she was going to talk to him tonight. He was determined.

* * *

Mercy walked in and before she could stop herself, evaluated the room. Four exits, countless objects that could be used as weapons, nine targets—no not targets—friends. She cursed under her breath. That was not a good sign, she was on edge tonight, she couldn’t shake this sense that something wasn’t right. 

She sat between Tony and Bruce since there was no room on the couch that Nat was sitting on. Tony placed a hand on her thigh, which she removed, chuckling at his action. Mercy had a pretty good idea that he wasn’t actually that big of a horndog. She’d bet money that he was playing it up because he knew it made her laugh and if that was the case then Tony was a lot smarter and more observant than she had previously thought. 

Mercy looked up as she heard Clint talking in a silly voice.

“Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!” he said twirling a drumstick in his hand.  “Whatever man! It’s a trick.”

She chuckled at his antics. Of course Barton would believe it was a trick. Something the Hawk couldn’t master must be trick.

“You’re just mad cause you can’t lift the thing.” she quipped smirking at the archer who rolled his eyes at in response.

All eyes turned to her which didn’t make her as antsy as it used to. 

“Ahh you must be Lady Mercy. I have heard great things about you. You are a fine warrior.” Thor said to me.

She laughed. “Warrior? Maybe, depending who you talk to. Lady? No chance in hell.” Tony laughed at that. Nat might have smirked a little, but she wasn’t sure.

Thor smiled at Mercy warmly but she could tell he didn’t quite understand what she meant. “Sorry, ignore what I just said. It’s nice to meet you Thor.” she held out her hand for him to shake.

He shook it firmly, which she appreciated. Nothing worse than a limp handshake. Although she didn’t think anything about Thor could be considered limp. He was pure muscle. She ignored her brain telling her that although he was strong, she was faster.

Clint drew their attention back to the hammer sitting on the table. “It’s a trick, man. Trickery I tell you.”

Thor laughed and gestured to the hammer. “Be my guest.”

Instead of Clint standing up, Tony did. He stretched his arms. “If I lift it, I get to rule Asgard?” he asked Thor.

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay. I promise I’ll be a fair but firm ruler.”

Everyone in the circle laughed. There was no way Tony could lift the hammer and everyone knew it. Of course, Tony had no success but he wasn’t one to give up easily. He scampered off and a moment later reappeared with a piece of his Iron Man suit on his arm. Of course adding the machinery didn’t help.

Everyone laughed as he and Rhodey now tried to lift the hammer with the help of their suits. Still nothing, the hammer didn’t budge. No matter how much metal they put on, they still weren’t worthy.

“Well, one Science Bro down. One to go.” Mercy stated, nudging Bruce off the couch.

Of course Bruce couldn’t pick it up either. He blamed it on the Other Guy. Which Stark told him was a cop out.

Bruce then gestured to Nat. She smiled, bringing her beer to her lips. “Oh no. That’s not a question I need answered.”

With that Steve stood up. I could tell he was slightly buzzed since his movements were more fluid than they usually were. I watched him as he pulled on the hammer.

It took a second for her to process what she saw because it happened so quickly. But Mercy was sure she saw the hammer move slightly. She quickly glanced up at Thor, just in time to see a scowl disappear from his face.

“Ha! See, nothing.” Thor responded cheerily.

Mercy could tell he was worried. She made a mental note to bring it up later.

Cap gave up shaking his head. “Alright Mercy, your turn.”

She looked up and laughed at the fact that he thought I might have the chance. “No way Steve, I’m not gonna waste my time trying.”

Mercy noticed his eyes widen in surprise but she didn’t know why. She also noticed Clint was staring at her like she’d sprouted two heads. But he seemed happy about it because he was smiling. She didn’t dwell on it, she was having fun, why overthink it?

“I know!” Tony said as he stood. “It’s more along the lines of ‘whosoever have Thor’s fingerprints’.”

Thor stood smiling. “Maybe, but I have a better theory.” He grabbed the hammer off the table and flipped it in the air once. “You are all not worthy.”

Mercy laughed but it was cut short. Something wasn’t right. Alarm bells were going off in her mind. Her head snapped up, her brain was screaming at her that there was a threat. She felt movement at her three o’clock. She drew her gun from her waistband without thinking her whole body pointed towards the stairs that lead to Starks workshop.

Everyone’s laughter stopped suddenly and they stared at her, some of them going on the defensive. Mercy didn’t take her eyes off of the doorway, she couldn’t even if she had wanted to. She had to be ready, something was coming.

“стоять вниз. ты в безопасности. (Stand down. You are safe.)” Nat spoke to to her softly, standing slowly.

“угроза. (threat.)” she said curtly, not easing her grip on the weapon.

Clint made the move towards me. “Mercy, there is no threat.”  

Mercy’s brain came up with a plan to subdue him if need be, to subdue all of them if it came to that. It was her mission to neutralize the threat. They could not compromise the mission. It was a mantra that always ran through her head, she had been conditioned to always complete her mission, no matter what it cost her. 

Suddenly a high pitched noise erupted throughout the penthouse. They all covered their ears, she would’ve done so herself but her arms were non-responsive. She felt the moment her ear drums burst, felt the blood dripping from her ears. Then she saw movement coming up the stairs. tracking it with her gun, not blinking, ready. It looked like one of Tony’s suits, except it was torn apart.

“Worthy? No. How could you be worthy? You’re all killers.” The machine said limping towards them.

“Jarvis?” Stark said.

Her eyes didn’t leave the target.

The robot kept talking.“I’m sorry, I was asleep. Or, I was a dream?”

Tony began to sound desperate. “Reboot. Legionnaire 06’s got a buggy suit.”

The intruder continued. “There was this, terrible noise, and I was tangled in—in strings. Had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.”

“You killed someone?” Steve asked concerned.

“Wouldn’t’ have been my first call. But, down in the real world, we’re faced with ugly choices.” the robot replied.

“Who sent you?” Thor asked.

"I see a suit of armor around the world.” The robot played a recording of Tony’s voice.

The others turned to look at him questioningly. 

“Ultron!” Bruce exclaimed.

“In the flesh. Or, no, not yet.” The robot moved as if he was examining himself. “Not this, chrysalis. But I’m ready. I’m on a mission.”

She cocked my gun. Ready to shoot.

“What mission?” Natasha asked.

“Peace in our time.”

Mercy was ready to take the kill shot, to complete the mission, and then the room exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This is my first fic that's more than one chapter!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Wanna leave feedback or make a suggestion? Leave a comment! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Mercy growled as a pair of hands pulled her backwards. When she realized that those hands belonged to the Captain, who in this moment wasn’t a threat, she stopped resisting.

He kicked a table over and pushed it out in front of us as a shield  from the robots firing at us. A robot flew at us, running into our makeshift shield, flinging us backwards.

“Fuck!” she snarled

She shot a couple more robots down being careful not to aim at the others. All Mercy saw were targets and allies. She didn’t care about anything else. She felt a stinging in my arm as a robot clipped her after being thrown by Thor, but she ignored it, she had to keep fighting. She shot down two more robots before the room became quite.

The skirmish ended quickly, but the main target was still alive. There was still a threat. All the others were scattered around the room. They stared at the robot, at Ultron. Mercy kept her gun pointed at Ultron’s head, ready to take the shot when needed.

“That was dramatic.” Ultron stated in a bored voice. “I’m sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn’t think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change. How is humanity saved if it’s not allowed to evolve? With these? These puppets? There’s only one path to peace—”

She took the shot. Right between the eyes. A perfect kill shot. It only stunned the robot. He seemed to tilt his head towards her for a moment as if studying her before returning to face the rest of them.

“—The Avengers’ extinction.”

And then Thor threw his hammer at Ultron. The robot crumpled into pieces.

His voice still echoed for a moment. “I had strings, but now I’m free. There are no strings on me…”

* * *

Steve was breathing heavily. He surveyed the damage and made sure his team was okay. They were scratched up, but alive. His eyes settled on Mercy. She had lowered her weapon and was now pointing it at the destroyed robot on the floor. He went to touch her, to tell her the fight was over. There was a steady stream of blood going down her left arm.  “Mercy—“

“Don’t.” Natasha said grabbing his hand. “Don’t touch her, she’ll come out of it in a second. Her brain is processing, analyzing. She isn’t very close with you yet, so it may evaluate you as a threat if you touch her. Might see it as an attack.”

Steve just stared. He stared at this totally different person standing in front of him. This side of Mercy was one he hadn’t seen before. She was standing stiff, all muscles tightened, blood dripped off her gun and on to the floor from where her arm had been cut. She just stood there still, gun still aimed at the lifeless robot on the floor.

To Steve it seemed like she was less than human. She was acting like a machine, like the machine they had just destroyed. Her eyes scanned the room, looking at each person in it. When she stared at him, Steve’s skin crawled. Her eyes were empty and calculating, void of personality. She reminded him of the Winter Soldier but worse. She was no longer Mercy, she was a killing machine.

The last two people she looked at were Clint and Natasha. She looked between the two of them, not as calculated as she had everyone else. She was different towards them. She saw them as allies, while she saw everyone else as potential threats.

She spoke some words to them. Clint nodded his head yes and Natasha spoke back in Russian.

Mercy then holstered her weapon, rotated her neck as if to stretch, and then proceeded to sit down on the couch. It was like she had flipped a switch. It scared Steve.

* * *

Mercy scanned the room, brain evaluating each person in the room. It took her brain a second longer to confirm that the Captain was not a threat, it was still having trouble when it came to him, he still reminded her too much of those she used to serve with. Despite her unease with him, she decided that currently Steve wasn’t a threat. The last two people she looked at were Natasha and Clint. Instantly recognizing them as allies.

“угроза нейтрализована? (threat neutralized?)” she spoke in a firm voice to them. Confirming the mission’s status.

“угроза нейтрализована. (threat neutralized.)” Natasha replied. Clint agreed.

Instantly a part of Mercy’s brain went dormant. She rotated her head a couple times, stretching her stiff neck. Then she slipped her gun back into it’s holster on her waistband and plopped down on the couch, waiting for someone to explain what the fuck had just happened.

Clint was the first one to speak up. “Would someone like to explain what the hell just happened?”

“My thoughts exactly.” she said.

Everyone turned to look at Tony and Bruce. Bruce subtly pointed to Tony and stepped back.

Tony rolled his eyes, seeing what Bruce had done. “Oh come on Banner, you contributed.”

“Not as much as you.” Bruce replied

“Stark? What did you do?” Steve asked in an demanding tone.

Mercy tuned them out, not wanting to hear the details. It was pretty clear that Stark had messed with something he shouldn’t have. She was so tired and her entire body was sore. That usually happened when she went into mission mode, when that part of her brain overrode everything else. It was like flipping a switch, one that she didn’t fully have control over. She was drawn out of her thoughts by something Bruce had said.

“Say that again?” 

“Ultron isn’t destroyed. He’s in the internet now. He’s everywhere.” Bruce responded gravely.

“дерьмо (shit)” Nat mumbled to herself. Mercy nodded in agreement.

Mercy could tell when Steve switched into his Captain America persona. He instantly started giving orders.

“Tony, Bruce, I want you in the labs. I need to know everything you did and everything Ultron did. Natasha use your computer skills to see if you can track Ultron through the net, Clint you help her if she needs it. Thor, Mercy, and I will try to figure out our next step. Let me know when you find anything.”

Mercy frowned, not liking the fact that this man given her an order, she didn’t take orders from those she didn’t trust, not anymore. Suddenly she felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Apparently Clint could tell that she was having some sort of internal struggle.

He nodded to me once. “He’s the good guy.”

Mercy visibly relaxed. She trusted Clint, she was irritated that she couldn’t make her own decisions without having someone reassure her. She felt like a child, felt helpless.

Everyone split up going to fulfill their orders. Mercy could tell Tony was pissed off at Steve, his internal temperature had spiked about five degrees when he had received his orders. His eyes also looked a little red, which was weird. She dismissed the observation, equating the change in his eyes to the lighting or to the amount of alcohol he had consumed earlier.

“What would you have us do?” Thor questioned.

“Thor go around and make sure the damage isn’t significant and make sure there are no injured people throughout the tower. I’ll clean up Mercy’s arm and try to gather all the bodies, maybe Stark can get some data off them.”

She looked down at her left arm, just now noticing that it was bleeding. “Shit. I’m getting blood on the couch.”

Steve let out a snort “It’s okay, Stark can afford a new couch.”

She smiled slightly at his words. Steve knelt down in front of her with a first aid kit in his hands. He stopped before he touched her.

“May I?” he asked, gesturing to my injured arm.

“Sure.” The old Mercy was not a fan of him being this close to her, it reminded her that he could overpower her in mere seconds if he wanted. But the new part of Mercy, the part of her that she was beginning to listen to, told her that Steve was trying to help and that she should let him.

Steve spoke again, rousing her from her thoughts.

“So is it always like that? When you…err…fight?”

She nodded and then realized that he couldn’t see that answer because he was too busy cleaning the gash on her arm. “Yeah, most of the time. It’s actually gotten better, since I’m not, you know, taking orders anymore.”

Steve hummed in acknowledgement as he dug through the med kit. “Just hold this gauze on your arm and I’ll be right back. This kit is out of numbing cream.”

Mercy scoffed. She hadn’t meant to but it just came out. If he only knew how many wounds she had stitched up without any form of pain relief. How many times she’d had stitched herself up, let alone had someone do it for her.

Steve looked at her like she had lost it. She smiled—well more like grimaced at him. “It’s fine Steve, just do it, or I’ll do it myself while you’re gone. We’re wasting time.”

Steve hesitantly kneeled back down and began to thread the needle. His attitude surprised me. He had been in World War II from christ’s sake, he couldn’t really be this squeamish about stitching up a wound.

He didn’t say anything as he inserted the needle into her forearm. He held down on her wrist with his other hand, as if he was scared she would flinch and mess him up. Mercy rolled her eyes at that, she hadn’t flinched in years, flinching had always been punished.

“Why be in pain when you don’t have to?” he asked quizzically.

She didn’t know if she should keep her mouth shut or not. Her mind said not to trust him. He reminded her so much of her past, of the people she thought were her allies, of herself before she was recruited. But somewhere deep down in her gut, she wanted to open up to him, to this man who was a constant reminder of what she had wanted, and what she thought she’d had. She shut her eyes and took in a deep breath, ignoring the alarms going off in her head and answered his question.

“I don’t feel it anymore.” she swallowed hard and kept going. “When I was in the program we weren’t just trained, we were experimented on too. One of the experiments, I don’t really remember which one, messed with my nervous system, so I don’t really register pain that much. If I think about it really hard I can feel it, but my brain has just been sort of programed to ignore it.”

Steve opened his mouth to reply when Stark’s voice came in over the P.A. system.

“Cap, get down here, we’ve got something you need to see.”

Steve looked down from the ceiling to her and then to her arm as if he was having an internal struggle about what to do.  Mercy took the needle out of his hand and nudged his arm away.

“Go on. I got this.”

Without saying a word, Steve nodded and walked down the stairs to Tony’s lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 should be up in a couple of days. Please leave me some comments below and let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions!


	4. Chapter 4

Mercy was reloading her gun when Thor came back into the room.

“Good news Lady Mercy, no one was harmed, the battle did not spread past this room.”

She stood and stretched again, her muscles aching.

“So if you lift it do you really become King of Asgard.” she asked as she gestured to the hammer on the ground.

Despite the change of topic Thor did not seem miffed at the question.

“Yes. That is the proclamation.” Thor replied.

“But what if there is more than one person that can lift it?” she prodded, trying to hint about what I really wanted to ask “Would Asgard have two kings?”

Thor seemed puzzled at this question. “I have never thought about it before. I did not deem it necessary because I believed that there could be no other that could wield Mjolnir.”

“Well you might want to start thinking about it.”

Thor whipped his head around to look at me. “You saw?” he asked genuinely surprised.

She shrugged looking down at her hands. “Yeah, I have good eyes. I won’t say anything, though.”

Thor clapped me on the shoulder hard. Godly strength was no joke, she barley stayed on my feet.

“You make a loyal confidant Mercy. I am proud to share this secret with you.” he said smiling.

Mercy just nodded and smiled to myself, who would’ve thought the God of Thunder would be happy to have her as a confidant.

——————

“It’s all gone. All of our research, Ultron cleared it out. Used the Internet as an escape hatch.”

Steve turned to Natasha, wanting her conformation.

“He’s been in everything. Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about is than we know about each other.” Steve didn’t know much about the internet but he knew enough to know that this was bad, really bad. “He’s in the internet, What if he decides to access something more exciting?”

“Nuclear Codes?” Clint asked. Steve nodded.

“Nukes? He said he wanted us dead.” Natasha added.

“He didn’t say dead. He said extinct.”

“Let’s not forget he also killed somebody.” Clint added.

“There wasn’t anyone else in the building, Thor checked.”

They all turned to look at Mercy. Some with looks of concern, some with pity, she ignored them all.

“Actually there was.” Tony replied, pulling up a hologram of a ball of light, it was broken, the pieces scattered.

“JARVIS. Makes sense, he’d be the first line of defense.” Steve said grimly.

“But Ultron could have assimilated JARVIS.” Bruce was frowning at the hologram. “This isn’t strategy, this is…rage.”

Just then Thor came barreling into the lab and before anyone knew what happened he had Tony by the throat.

“Looks like the rage is going around.” Clint said sardonically.

Mercy rolled her eyes even though she had her hand on her gun, she wasn’t ready to intervene, not yet.

“Whoa, Thor, buddy. Use your words.”

“I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark.” Thor bellowed.

“Thor!”

The God turned to look at Steve. And then dropped Tony. “The scepter is gone. Once I realized I followed the trail. It went cold about a hundred miles out.”

Mercy turned to face Tony again. She didn’t understand. She spent a lot of time with the man, in the lab especially. She knew nothing of this project, or why he’d ever want to build this kind of machine. “I don’t understand. You built this program, why is it trying to kill us?”

To her surprise Tony began to laugh. Behind him Bruce was shaking his head back and forth, trying to stop Tony from making things worse.

“You think this is funny?!” Thor boomed.

“No. It’s probably not, right? Is this very terrible? Is it so? It’s so terrible.”

“You meddle with things you do not understand.” Thor was practically snarling.

“No. You know what? I’m sorry. It is funny. Its hilarious that you don’t get why we need this.”

Bruce shook his head more vehemently, “Tony maybe this might not be the time to—.”

“Really?! That’s it? You just roll over and show your belly every time somebody snarls?”

“Only when I’ve created a murder bot!” Bruce spat back.

Mercy took a step forward. She was tiring of this bickering. Talking was never her strong point. She was itching to kill something, fight something. She guessed Clint picked up on her antsy-ness because he lightly tugged on her wrist, helping anchor her.

Tony was still lamenting. “Anyone remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole—”

“Never came up.” Clint joked. Mercy’s mouth twitched, wanting to smirk.

“A hostile alien army came through a hole in space, 300 hundred feet above us. We can bust arms dealers and defeat terrorists all day long, but that,” he said pointing to the sky, “that is the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?”

“Together.” Steve replied matter of factly.

Before she realized she said anything she replied, “We’d lose.”

Steve smiled at her sadly, “Then we’ll do that together too.”

That stuck with Mercy, her brain calculated his answer and detected no deceit. He wasn’t lying, he honestly believed that they would go down fighting together, no matter what. She wanted it to not be true. It’d be much easier for her if she thought the man was a liar. She was so used to liars, people manipulating for their own gain, and she didn’t want to start to trust again, just to have it be a mistake. She made that mistake once, and it had cost her everything.

“Ultron is looking for us, we find him before he can make a move. We take him out, together.” Steve ordered. Everyone nodded.

Mercy stood there while everyone went their separate ways. Thor stormed out his cape billowing behind him. Natasha whispered something to Clint and the two went off together. Mercy didn’t miss the fact that they had swiped one of Tony’s laptops on their way out.

That just left the four of them. Tony, Bruce, the Captain, and herself.

“You two, get started on tracking him down any way you can.” Steve instructed.

“Yes sir.” Tony replied, his voice dripping with venom.

Bruce just stood there wringing his hands, Mercy could tell he was on edge. Sweat on his brow, his pulse had risen tremendously since the altercation with Thor. She was already deriving a plan to subdue him if it was called for. Last thing they needed was for the Hulk to come out and play.

She then turned her eyes to Tony, he was clearly not in the right state of mind to be doing any of this. She still couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed how unstable he had been, she should have picked up on the fact that he was hiding something.

Her eyes drifted to the Captain then. He was looking at her, frowning. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“We need to talk.” he said as he walked past her out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I haven't written for this story in a hot minute. Sorry if it's a little rough. Also I know it's a bit of a filler chapter but I promise the good stuff is coming, we just gotta set it all up!

Steve heard her walking behind him, although his instincts told him that it was intentional. She reminded him so much of Bucky—no, of the Winter Solider that it scared him. But it also gave him some hope. From what Steve had heard of Mercy’s backstory, she and Bucky had similar experiences, and if she really was like Bucky, she’d think she’d have to fight in this battle, she’d think she didn’t have a choice. And Steve wouldn’t let her think she didn’t have a choice, with The Avengers, with him, there was always a choice.

When they reached an empty break room Steve gestured for her to step inside. She stopped and stiffened and Steve mentally kicked himself. She didn’t want to expose her six, made sense, he should’ve known better. He grimaced at his error and walked in. He made sure to take the seat farthest away from the door, trying to convey through his placement and body language that she was in no way trapped, that she didn’t have to be on edge.

“You don’t have to come with us.” Steve spoke, not really knowing how to start the conversation.

She stood, back to the wall positioned so close to the exit and far away from Steve. “Excuse me, Captain?”

She crossed her arms in confusion.

“You just teamed up with us not too long ago, you’re not obligated to assist us in a mission of this caliber so soon.”

“Do you not think I can handle myself?” She frowned thinking that he doubted her skill.  
“I know without a doubt that you can handle yourself. What I'm trying to say is that you don’t have to fight if you don’t want to. You have a choice. I don’t want you feeling like you’ve traded one regime for another.”

Mercy’s frown deepened even more. A choice? He was telling her she didn’t have to fight? That his orders didn’t have to be followed. Her brain didn’t know how to compute this. She was a soldier, a soldier followed orders without thought, without question.

“The only thing I ask, Mercy, is that if you are to fight with us, that you’re really with us, all of us.” Steve spoke, and then with a sigh, he left the room leaving her to mull over what he had just said.

* * *

A choice. The word echoed over and over in her head. Choice. She hadn’t been given a choice in decades. She was a weapon, a tool. She had one purpose, to fight. She used to serve The Ten, now to right her wrongs she served The Avengers. But now her leader had told her that she had a choice, to fight or to do nothing.

The words of the android came back to her then, ‘extinction’. Whatever Ultron had planned Mercy knew that she had to help stop him, to end him.

When she rejoined the others Hill was at the head of the table, holographic screens haloed around her.

“He's all over the globe. Robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs. Reports of a metal man, or men, coming in and emptying the place.”

“Any fatalities?” Bruce questioned.

“Only when engaged.” Nat replied as she flipped the page of the file in front of her.

Hill nodded. “Mostly guys left in a fugue state going on about old memories, worst fears, and "something too fast to see.”

“The Maximoffs.” Steve spoke. Mercy noticed the twinge of sadness in his voice. “That makes sense that he’d go to them, they have someone in common.”

Mercy noticed the glare he shot Stark although the man himself had not. She was just about to ask what Steve (she was going to mull over what had changed in her that made her comfortable calling him by his name later) what he meant and who these Maximoffs were when she heard muffled sounds in the hallway.

She closed her eyes, blocking out one sense to help boost another. Her brow furrowed as she listened. It was Barton, he had to be on the phone because she heard only his side of the conversation.

_“That’s a negative, I answer to you. Yes, ma’am. Understood.”_

 

She strained to hear more but Barton must've ended the call. Moments later he walked in, patting her on the back as he hurried past her to sit down at the table. Mercy looked around, curious to see if anyone else had overheard but they were all to focused on the conversation at hand.

She shook her head, hoping that the action would help clear the jumbled thoughts that were starting to cloud her mind. There were too many variables going on to make her comfortable. She was tense, jumpy. She needed things to get going, for someone to tell her where to go and what to do. She needed orders.

Tony’s voice brought her back to the present. “Ultron killed Strucker. And he did a Banksy at the crime scene, just for us.”

“This is a smoke screen. Why send a message when you've just given a speech?” Bruce questioned.

She spoke then, wanting to be of some use, to have something to do. “This Strucker knew something, something Ultron did not want us to find out. Hard to tell secrets when you’re dead.”

Steve tried to hid how unsettling he found it, that she could talk so nonchalantly about killing, like it meant nothing. Then he tried to hide his blush at his own stupidity. It wasn’t her fault that she thought this way, it was conditioning, not who she really was deep down.

“Yup, I bet he...yeah. Everything we had on Strucker's been erased.” Tony confirmed.

Nat shook her head as she typed away at the laptop in front of her. “Not everything. Known associates—Baron Strucker had a lot of friends.”

“Well, these people are all horrible.” Clint quipped, “Wait. I know that guy. From back in the day. He operates off the African coast. Black market arms.”

Tony chimed in then “I’ve seen him before too, at a couple of conventions from the old days.”

This time the man caught the glare Rogers was shooting his way. He rolled his eyes in return “Hey! You meet all types of people at these things. I didn’t sell him anything. He was talking about finding something new, a game-changer. It was all very Ahab.”

Mercy studied the picture of the man on the screen. He was a potential target so she must memorize everything as a precaution.  
She interrupted Stark. “What is that, there?” she pointed to some sort of symbol on the man’s neck.

“He didn’t have that when I met him.” Tony supplied.

Bruce stepped forward and squinted at the image. “It’s a sort of brand. In Wakandan. It means ‘theif’.”

“If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods…” Hill murmured.

“I thought your father said he got the last of it?” Bruce posed the question to Stark.

Mercy’s eyes were following the verbal spar back and forth, absorbing every new piece of information.

“I don’t follow. The last of what?” Clint questioned, tapping his fingers on the table annoyedly.

Stark and Banner both answered at the same time. “The strongest metal on earth.”

Steves eyebrows shot up. “Where is this guy now?” he asked, his Captain America tone leaking into his voice.

“I don’t know but we can find out.” Tony answered, all hints of snark now gone.

“Good, you do that. Everyone be ready to move out when Stark says the word.”

They all dispersed except a few. Tony and Bruce stayed to hunt down the arms dealer. Clint was still lounging at the conference table and Mercy hadn’t moved from her spot by the doorway, not wanting to miss anything.

“So, Cap. Should I bring out the fancy arrows? I do have a few lethal ones that I’ve been wanting to test out.” Clint’s tone was light but Mercy knew he was being purposeful in his word choice. He wanted to know how bad this could get.

“Bring them all Barton. Ultron brought the fight to us, now we’re bringing the it to him” Rogers replied matter of factly.

Mercy sneered involuntarily at that, the other part of her mind coming to the forefront, ready for the violence that was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch that easter egg about who Mercy used to "work for"? Seems like her and Tony may have some trouble down the road because of it. I also tried to show more of her insecure and confused side in this chapter. Unlike the other chapters which focus a lot on her "other side", I tried to show how human she really is underneath all of the terrible things The Ten turned her into. She's not really the monster they made her to be. 
> 
> I also tried to show that she subconsciously is starting to kinda trust Steve now. No longer just calling him Captain and actually using his name. It's a step I guess. 
> 
> Anyways please let me know what you think! This is my first really long fic and I'm hoping that you all can give me suggestions or encouragement. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind Control Flashes are in italics.

Mercy wasn’t sure exactly how long it took to arrive to Wakanda. The other part of her was in control, preparing for battle. Guns taken apart and reassembled. Knives cleaned and sharpened. She came back to the forefront when Steve started to explain their plan of attack. 

“Okay so we know about the Maximoffs’, they’re most likely to be with Ultron. So we have four hostiles minimum.” 

Stark chimed in then. “We also have to account for Kalue’s muscle. I guarantee you everyone in that facility will be armed.” 

Steve nodded in agreement. 

“What exactly do these wonder twins do again?” Clint asked.

“The boy is fast and the girl has telekinesis and the ability to warp reality.” Natasha supplied.

Steve took the conversation over then. “And because of this I think it’d be best for Banner to fall back on this one. We don’t need the Big Guy making an appearance and causing an international incident. No offense.” 

Bruce nodded solemnly “No worries, makes sense.”

_“Fifteen minutes till arrival boss.”_ FRIDAY alerted. 

“Thor, Tony and I will take point. Try to avoid an all out brawl. Clint, you’ll find the high ground, be our eyes and ears. Natasha and Mercy, take out as many of Klaue’s men as you can. Bruce will stay behind, but if things get messy we may need to call a code green.”

_“Landing now, boss.”_

The team stood up, readying themselves. 

“Secure the vibranium at all costs. Whatever Ultron needs it for, it’s not good.” Tony’s said behind his faceplate. 

Mercy checked the clip of her gun one more time, just to be sure and headed over to stand by Nat. 

“не убивать, солдат” (no killing, soldier) the widow murmured in her ear. 

Mercy slipped away then, her other side coming to the forefront. “параметры миссии понятны.” (mission parameters understood). 

—

She and Nat split up once inside. The best way to neutralize their targets were to catch them unaware. She could vaguely hear Stark talking to Ultron but she wasn’t paying attention, focused on making sure their presence wasn’t noticed until they wanted it to be. 

She met The Widow at the second level, having taken care of the thugs on the ground floor. 

“No vibranium yet, you have any luck?” 

Mercy just shook her head, eyes already scanning her new surroundings. They both looked up at the sudden sound of repulser beams. 

“Guess this means we can ditch being stealthy.” Nat smirked as she charged up her widow bites. 

Mercy’s lips twitched up a fraction just before she leapt into the fray. She wasn’t impressed with Klaue’s men. They relied to heavily on their bullets. Without their little toys they were powerless. She did as she was told, making sure that she didn’t kill anyone, even though the darker side of her yearned for bloodshed.  

She grunted, not from exertion, but from the internal struggle going on in her mind. She was battling herself more than she was the enemy. She came back to reality when an arrow whizzed past her face and impaled the man running towards her. 

“You okay, Mercy?” Clint asked concerned. 

“Clear. Sorry.” she replied, cursing herself for being distracted. 

Thor’s voice boomed over the coms then. “The witch tried to warp my mind. Take special care, I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately, I am mighty.” 

Mercy rushed up to the main floor, having cleared all the other levels. It took her mere moments to find the vibranium. 

“Items located, south eastern quadrant.” she spoke into the coms. 

“Heard. Aquire and secure on the Quinjet, we can’t let it fall into Ultron’s hands.” the Captain ordered. 

Mercy nodded, opened her mouth to reply, and then all she saw was red. 

_Mercy was coughing, drowning. Suddenly the cloth was ripped away from her face._

_“Dalia no longer exists. Who are you?” the soldier asked._

_  
“I am Dalia Aamer. Agent 6327.”_

_“Wrong!” the voice shouted. Then she was drowning again. Her lungs were on fire, burning themselves alive. She shut her eyes and screamed, and when she opened them again she was no longer in the chair._

_~_

_She was home. But it was wrong. There was blood covering the floor, her hands, her clothes. Pieces of her mother and father were strewn across the room. She felt numb._

_“Dalia Aamer is dead. Who are you?” the faceless voice asked._

_“I am no one.” the asset answered._

_She blinked and found herself in the dungeon, the matron stood beside her, a man bound and gagged kneeled at her feet._

_“He begged for mercy.” her handler crooned, “so we brought him to you.”_

_Mercy sneered as she removed her blade._

_“Show him how merciful we are.” her handler ordered._

_Mercy stepped forward then, and she felt nothing as she carved into the man’s flesh._

—

Steve saw the Maximoff girl wave her hand at him through his peripheral vision. He threw his shield at her but her brother whisked her away before it made contact. The shield came back to him and he caught it. His head hurt, he shook it to help clear his mind. Turned to fight the next goon and then everything changed. 

_“The war is over Steve. We can go home.” Peggy reached out her hand to him on the dance floor. And Steve almost took it, but something felt wrong. He studied the woman in front of him, Peggy’s eyes had been brown, not red. He backed away then, shaking his head violently, as if trying to clear it._

_“Steve?” Peggy questioned, but she didn’t move to follow him, arm still outstretched._

_Steve turned then and found himself back on the battlefield. Dead men all around him, with bombs going off and people screaming._

_—_

A man’s voice came through then, giving Steve something to focus on. 

“Whoever’s standing we gotta move!” the man said. He sounded familiar but Steve couldn’t quite remember why.

“Does anyone copy?” the voice questioned.

Suddenly Steve’s face was jerked to the left, as if he had been slapped. 

“Come on Capsicle, no time to take a nap.” 

Steve blinked rapidly, the face in front of him coming into focus. “Tony?”

“Ahh there he is, come on Cap, gotta get a move on, I’ve got a Green Mean Angry Machine to track down. I need you to take care of things here.” 

Steve nodded in affirmation, still not entirely sure what was going on. He heard the voice in his ear again, Clint’s voice he now remembered. 

“Does anyone copy?” 

Steve nodded and then spoke when he realized that he hadn’t actually responded. “I copy Hawkeye.”

“Christ, finally. I’ve got Nat, she’s down. I got Thor too. He’s a little out of it but is aware enough to get himself back to the jet. You have eye’s on Mercy?” 

“No but I’ll find her, I’ll meet you back at the jet.” Steve rose and started towards the area Mercy had last been. “We need to lay low, somewhere off the grid, any ideas?” 

Barton chuckled then. “Captain I know just the place.” 

Steve stopped dead when he saw what was before him. Mercy was covered in blood. She had a gunshot wound, through and through on her right shoulder. But he’d bet on the amount of blood, not all of it was her own. She was huddled in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to herself. Her eyes had a far away and haunted look to them that made Steve’s skin crawl. 

“Daliat Eamir, Alwakil 6327.” she repeated it over and over and over. He knew she was speaking Arabic but he had no idea what she was saying. 

He approached her carefully, kneeling down till he was on her level. “Mercy, we gotta get back to the jet. Can you stand?”

She didn’t even realize he was there, she just kept repeating that one phrase. 

Steve didn’t know if some part of her was registering what he was saying or not, but he kept talking to her, trying to soothe her. 

“I’m gonna pick you up now Merce. We gotta get out of here. You’re gonna be okay.” He scooped her up, surprised at how light she was, how fragile she seemed. 

Steve carried her to the jet, trying to hide the anguish on his face. He felt so badly for Mercy, what she had gone through. She was crying, tears rolling down her face but other than that she was void of emotion. She just kept repeating the same phrase and number over and over again. It reminded him so much of Bucky when he had found him being held captive almost a century ago. 

When Steve climbed into the jet Clint was there waiting with open arms. He had already settled Natasha onto a cot and had one waiting for Mercy. 

Clint sat between the two and whispered sweetly to them but Steve couldn’t hear what he was saying. Bruce was huddled in a corner and Tony was tinkering with gauntlet of his suit on the floor beside him, hoping his nearness would comfort the man. 

Clint nodded his head once, more to himself than to anyone else and then stood. “Stay with them, get some rest, it’ll take a few hours to get there.” 

Steve frowned at the archer. “Get where?” 

Clint smirked. “You’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 6 is finally posted. I know it's taking me forever to update and I'm sorry but I'm hoping this chapter is good enough to make up for it. Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Part Two should be up soon, working on it now. Please let me know what you think! This is my first fic that's more than a one parter!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Wanna leave feedback or make a suggestion? Leave a comment! :)


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